Monday, September 15, 2008 // 19:43
Argh. 2day was crappy.
Whole day was quite okay, just that I lost my headset. -_- ya. Unlucky sia. I'm lyk so damn pek cek tt I can't listen 2 music -_- Zzz. Day passed quite fast, but the last hour seemed 2 crawl slower than a snail -_- It was ACC, Appreciation of Chinese Culture. Normally I can get over that de, but dunno y 2day was damn sian, sian until I (cos nv bring bk must copy notes -_-) copy until damn pek cek n sleepy tt I stared at the tcr n kept closing n opening my eyes -_- *trying 2 keep myself awake but to no avail*
The tcr oso noe I vry tired la, n other ppl were practically lying on the table sleeping liao. Some lyk Xy n Xt talking, some blur blur de stare into mid air *like me* -_-
After that, sch dismiss, went 2 eat lunch -_- So damn bored sia, nth 2 do except. STUDY. STUDY. STUDY.
-_- All the things I wanna do, or did, r not acceptable but *check*
All the things I need 2 do, or shud do, but I didn't *uncheck*
Zzz. Lol. Cold joke.
Farmer A sells apples.
Farmer B sells bananas.
What does Farmer C sell?
Farmer C sells medicine. (Pharmacy ma)
Lol.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM" He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.":D
Q1) What BATMAN say when he fell down?
A1) Painful Sia...(Bian fu sia)
Q2) Xiao ming drinks milk to grow up, Da ming drinks what?
A2) Alcohol because "Jiu Yang Da Ming"
Q3) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong ... Who will win first ??
A3) Saddam Hussein because "Saddam Hu Xian"
Q4) Ah Bao was murdered! however the police quickly found the killer.. who is it?
A4) Ah Dou because Dou Sha Bao
Q5)There's a party in the forest but... who didn't get to eat the cake!?!
A5) GRASS because "Cao Mei Dan Gao"
Q6) Ah mei's dad has 7 wives, the 5th and 7th are africans. Guess a chinese idiom
A6) Wu Qi Ma hei
Q7) You're walking on the road and suddenly you come across some roadworks. Guess a movie.
A7) Turn Left Turn Right
Q8) Why did the lightning hit the tree?
A8) The tree "sway".
Q9) Someone built a new ship. There's everything on this new ship except one thing. What?
A9) Television. xin chuan mei dian shi.
Q10) Why did the pig get caught at customs?
A10) It was hiding powder. Zhu Chang Fen.
Q11) What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
A11) "You are too young to smoke."
Q12) Why was the noodle so afraid of the cloud?
A12) Because Yun Tun Mian. (cloud swallow noodle -_-)
Q13) Who gave Andy Lau 'Wang Qing Shui'?
A13) 'Ah huh', because of the song lyrics..Ah huh, 给我一杯忘情水...
Q14) One day, Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to eat at the restaurant. After they finish, Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua left the restaurant without paying and the manager didn't mind. Why?
A14) Cos their friend "you yi tian"(One day) pay already......
Q15)Three tadpoles went to a restaurant and they saw the people of the next table eating frog porridge. What did they start singing?
A15) Wo bu xiang Wo bu xiang bu xiang zhang da
Q16) "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
A16) "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
Q17) One day, a matchstick feels his head damn itchy so he scratch it furiously and suddenly *POOF* , his head burst into a flame! He was then admitted to the hospital. So now, guess what he became when he was discharged the next day?
A17) Cotton bud. His whole head is bandaged.
18)
One day Joe went out to Orchard Road wearing his favourite pair of sneakers. He saw this girl pass by him as he was boarding the MRT and was smitten immediately - love at first sight. He went back to tell his friends and they were all curious to know about the girl.
"Is she very cute, like Yang Chen Ling?"
"Nope."
"Is she very sexy, like Jessica Alba?"
"Nope."
"But you don't even know her yet! If she's not cute or sexy, what made you so attracted to her?", his friends were all dumbfounded.
"Well, she was wearing the exact same pair of sneakers that I was wearing that day..." , Joe said.
"WHAT???!!!", his friends exclaimed.
"Yeah...the moment I saw her I knew we were sole mates..."
Q19) You are trapped in a room with nothing but a table .. NOT even a window !!
And the nearest help you can get is a town 50km away .. how are you gonna get out??
A19) Rub your hands till they are saw (sore).. saw the table into half .. 2 halves will make a whole(hole), climb out of the hole and shout til your voice is horse (hoarse), ride the horse to the town .. EASY
Q20) Once upon a time, there lived a green man in a green house which was in a green district. One day while he was bathing, a female friend of his came round to visit and rang the doorbell. Upon hearing his doorbell, the green man hastily wrapped a towel round himself and went to open the door. At that moment, he accidentally dropped his towel and his friend screamed in shock. Still screaming, she ran off and got knocked down when she dashed across a road. She died, the end.
What is the moral of the story?
A20) NEVER cross the road when the green man is flashing. LOL.
Q21) One day, Cake's parents died in a car crash, and he was very sad. Who came to encourage him?
A21) Pig. Because Zhu gu li dan gao (chocolate cake)
Q22) A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit for inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.
The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked what is going on?
A22) "I am only following the instructions -- the test paper states, answer the questions in brief."
Q23)
'Happy' is a singaporean. what is her surname?
A)lee (happily)
What is happy's profession?
A) a nurse (happiness)
Where does happy like to go for shopping?
A) lucky plaza (HAPPY-GO-LUCKY!)
24)
Angie: Daddy, can i have another glass of water?
Father: Another glass I have already given you five glass of water.
Angie: Yes, i know, but mummy is still on fire.
Father: !!!!
25)
Mother: It's time you chidren learn how to do some housework. What will u do, Mark?
Mark: I will wash the plates and the glasses.
Mother: And what will you do, Lucy?
Lucy: i will sweep away the plates and the glasses that Mark breaks.
Mother: WHAT!!!!
26)
An ex-convict had just been arrested for the stealing and was brought before the judge.
Judge: Haven't I told you the other time that i don't want to see you in court again?
Ex-convict: That was what i told the police, but they just wouldn't listen.....
27)
Customer: Where is your manager. I want to complain about this terrible meal.
Waiter: I am afraid you will have to wait, sir. He has gone to the restaurant opposite us to have his meal.
Customer: !!!!
28)
Father: Jonny, you must learn to give and take.
Johnny: i know, Dad, i have just given Alex a punch on the face and taken all his money.
29)
This is a crime story...
5 friends lived in a room, namely Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody and Nobody.
One Day, Somebody killed Nobody. That time Brain was in the bathroom.
Mad called police.
Mad : Is this the police station?
Police : Yes, whats the matter?
Mad : Somebody killed Nobody.
Police : Are you Mad?
Mad : Yes, I am Mad.
Police : Dun you have Brain?
Mad : Brain is in the bathroom.
Police : You Fool. :D :D :D
Mad : No, Fool is busy reading this posting
Ya. Anyone who reads until the bottom of this post is seriously a fool sia. Lol. So damn long -_-
Whole day was quite okay, just that I lost my headset. -_- ya. Unlucky sia. I'm lyk so damn pek cek tt I can't listen 2 music -_- Zzz. Day passed quite fast, but the last hour seemed 2 crawl slower than a snail -_- It was ACC, Appreciation of Chinese Culture. Normally I can get over that de, but dunno y 2day was damn sian, sian until I (cos nv bring bk must copy notes -_-) copy until damn pek cek n sleepy tt I stared at the tcr n kept closing n opening my eyes -_- *trying 2 keep myself awake but to no avail*
The tcr oso noe I vry tired la, n other ppl were practically lying on the table sleeping liao. Some lyk Xy n Xt talking, some blur blur de stare into mid air *like me* -_-
After that, sch dismiss, went 2 eat lunch -_- So damn bored sia, nth 2 do except. STUDY. STUDY. STUDY.
-_- All the things I wanna do, or did, r not acceptable but *check*
All the things I need 2 do, or shud do, but I didn't *uncheck*
Zzz. Lol. Cold joke.
Farmer A sells apples.
Farmer B sells bananas.
What does Farmer C sell?
Farmer C sells medicine. (Pharmacy ma)
Lol.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM" He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.":D
Q1) What BATMAN say when he fell down?
A1) Painful Sia...(Bian fu sia)
Q2) Xiao ming drinks milk to grow up, Da ming drinks what?
A2) Alcohol because "Jiu Yang Da Ming"
Q3) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong ... Who will win first ??
A3) Saddam Hussein because "Saddam Hu Xian"
Q4) Ah Bao was murdered! however the police quickly found the killer.. who is it?
A4) Ah Dou because Dou Sha Bao
Q5)There's a party in the forest but... who didn't get to eat the cake!?!
A5) GRASS because "Cao Mei Dan Gao"
Q6) Ah mei's dad has 7 wives, the 5th and 7th are africans. Guess a chinese idiom
A6) Wu Qi Ma hei
Q7) You're walking on the road and suddenly you come across some roadworks. Guess a movie.
A7) Turn Left Turn Right
Q8) Why did the lightning hit the tree?
A8) The tree "sway".
Q9) Someone built a new ship. There's everything on this new ship except one thing. What?
A9) Television. xin chuan mei dian shi.
Q10) Why did the pig get caught at customs?
A10) It was hiding powder. Zhu Chang Fen.
Q11) What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
A11) "You are too young to smoke."
Q12) Why was the noodle so afraid of the cloud?
A12) Because Yun Tun Mian. (cloud swallow noodle -_-)
Q13) Who gave Andy Lau 'Wang Qing Shui'?
A13) 'Ah huh', because of the song lyrics..Ah huh, 给我一杯忘情水...
Q14) One day, Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to eat at the restaurant. After they finish, Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua left the restaurant without paying and the manager didn't mind. Why?
A14) Cos their friend "you yi tian"(One day) pay already......
Q15)Three tadpoles went to a restaurant and they saw the people of the next table eating frog porridge. What did they start singing?
A15) Wo bu xiang Wo bu xiang bu xiang zhang da
Q16) "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
A16) "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
Q17) One day, a matchstick feels his head damn itchy so he scratch it furiously and suddenly *POOF* , his head burst into a flame! He was then admitted to the hospital. So now, guess what he became when he was discharged the next day?
A17) Cotton bud. His whole head is bandaged.
18)
One day Joe went out to Orchard Road wearing his favourite pair of sneakers. He saw this girl pass by him as he was boarding the MRT and was smitten immediately - love at first sight. He went back to tell his friends and they were all curious to know about the girl.
"Is she very cute, like Yang Chen Ling?"
"Nope."
"Is she very sexy, like Jessica Alba?"
"Nope."
"But you don't even know her yet! If she's not cute or sexy, what made you so attracted to her?", his friends were all dumbfounded.
"Well, she was wearing the exact same pair of sneakers that I was wearing that day..." , Joe said.
"WHAT???!!!", his friends exclaimed.
"Yeah...the moment I saw her I knew we were sole mates..."
Q19) You are trapped in a room with nothing but a table .. NOT even a window !!
And the nearest help you can get is a town 50km away .. how are you gonna get out??
A19) Rub your hands till they are saw (sore).. saw the table into half .. 2 halves will make a whole(hole), climb out of the hole and shout til your voice is horse (hoarse), ride the horse to the town .. EASY
Q20) Once upon a time, there lived a green man in a green house which was in a green district. One day while he was bathing, a female friend of his came round to visit and rang the doorbell. Upon hearing his doorbell, the green man hastily wrapped a towel round himself and went to open the door. At that moment, he accidentally dropped his towel and his friend screamed in shock. Still screaming, she ran off and got knocked down when she dashed across a road. She died, the end.
What is the moral of the story?
A20) NEVER cross the road when the green man is flashing. LOL.
Q21) One day, Cake's parents died in a car crash, and he was very sad. Who came to encourage him?
A21) Pig. Because Zhu gu li dan gao (chocolate cake)
Q22) A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit for inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.
The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked what is going on?
A22) "I am only following the instructions -- the test paper states, answer the questions in brief."
Q23)
'Happy' is a singaporean. what is her surname?
A)lee (happily)
What is happy's profession?
A) a nurse (happiness)
Where does happy like to go for shopping?
A) lucky plaza (HAPPY-GO-LUCKY!)
24)
Angie: Daddy, can i have another glass of water?
Father: Another glass I have already given you five glass of water.
Angie: Yes, i know, but mummy is still on fire.
Father: !!!!
25)
Mother: It's time you chidren learn how to do some housework. What will u do, Mark?
Mark: I will wash the plates and the glasses.
Mother: And what will you do, Lucy?
Lucy: i will sweep away the plates and the glasses that Mark breaks.
Mother: WHAT!!!!
26)
An ex-convict had just been arrested for the stealing and was brought before the judge.
Judge: Haven't I told you the other time that i don't want to see you in court again?
Ex-convict: That was what i told the police, but they just wouldn't listen.....
27)
Customer: Where is your manager. I want to complain about this terrible meal.
Waiter: I am afraid you will have to wait, sir. He has gone to the restaurant opposite us to have his meal.
Customer: !!!!
28)
Father: Jonny, you must learn to give and take.
Johnny: i know, Dad, i have just given Alex a punch on the face and taken all his money.
29)
This is a crime story...
5 friends lived in a room, namely Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody and Nobody.
One Day, Somebody killed Nobody. That time Brain was in the bathroom.
Mad called police.
Mad : Is this the police station?
Police : Yes, whats the matter?
Mad : Somebody killed Nobody.
Police : Are you Mad?
Mad : Yes, I am Mad.
Police : Dun you have Brain?
Mad : Brain is in the bathroom.
Police : You Fool. :D :D :D
Mad : No, Fool is busy reading this posting
Ya. Anyone who reads until the bottom of this post is seriously a fool sia. Lol. So damn long -_-