Even though I hav been out of love b4, I seriously hav never felt my heart being ripped apart. Today I felt it, and I gt scared. Normally, I get scared for almost everything scary or weird, from ghosts, bugs, creepy stuff. But nw, I can't even imagine wad will happen.

Everyday I feel sian, bored, just slacking ard, and each day passes just lyk that. Even thou I do not plan to change tt, I still feel a bit scared.

My chest area has been hurting for lyk. 1 n a half hour already -_- Till nw, its still hurting lyk hell. I oso dunno wad's wrong wif me, and even thou dis kinda thing shud b quite normal to me le - operations, medicine, injections, brain scans (when I felt lyk I was gonna die taking them), and those moments when I tot, "oh. any mistake n I will nv b ard anymore." But I still tot I could survive, cos I tot Heaven/Hell wont wish 2 hav me bug them everyday too. Hahas....

But sometimes, just feel so helpless la. I still rmb hw I cried until my eyes were so swollen (plus I gt an allergy, so my eyes practically looked lyk those of a goldfish) when I board e plane back to Sg from Korea. It was as if I could nv come back safely to Sg. I was so scared I would die dere.

And even when I was in the hospital, lying on my bed, I almost cried every night when my mum was nt ard. And even sent sms to Angie, Luc n other frens -_- Cos I was scared I would really die..

I really dun understand la.. Even thou dis isn't life-threatening, y must Heaven torture me from time to time. -_- Making me tink tt I will die, den suddenly saving me n "smiling" at me, saying tt I was fooled by him. Nt lyk I dun thank him for helping me again n again la..

Even till nw my heart's hurting lyk hell -_- and my pulse lyk so weak tt I c feel my heart beating la.. Zzz. I rmb Surin said dis when she was teaching Bio -_- the heart's so special bcos it has a heartbeat, and it beats constantly until the day we die. I really wonder hw much longer I can live sia -_- (if only I gt the ability to c my lifespan -_- Or if someone lyk Ryuk could exist n tell me hw long I hav.)

-_- Dis post is becoming a bit lyk a person's last words b4 he/she dies sia -_-

But
I forbid myself to cry.
I forbid myself to give up.
I forbid myself to lose without a fight.
N I definitely forbid myself to die so young.
-_-

Even though I hav been out of love b4, I seriously hav never felt my heart being ripped apart. Today I felt it, and I gt scared. Normally, I get scared for almost everything scary or weird, from ghosts, bugs, creepy stuff. But nw, I can't even imagine wad will happen.

Everyday I feel sian, bored, just slacking ard, and each day passes just lyk that. Even thou I do not plan to change tt, I still feel a bit scared.

My chest area has been hurting for lyk. 1 n a half hour already -_- Till nw, its still hurting lyk hell. I oso dunno wad's wrong wif me, and even thou dis kinda thing shud b quite normal to me le - operations, medicine, injections, brain scans (when I felt lyk I was gonna die taking them), and those moments when I tot, "oh. any mistake n I will nv b ard anymore." But I still tot I could survive, cos I tot Heaven/Hell wont wish 2 hav me bug them everyday too. Hahas....

But sometimes, just feel so helpless la. I still rmb hw I cried until my eyes were so swollen (plus I gt an allergy, so my eyes practically looked lyk those of a goldfish) when I board e plane back to Sg from Korea. It was as if I could nv come back safely to Sg. I was so scared I would die dere.

And even when I was in the hospital, lying on my bed, I almost cried every night when my mum was nt ard. And even sent sms to Angie, Luc n other frens -_- Cos I was scared I would really die..

I really dun understand la.. Even thou dis isn't life-threatening, y must Heaven torture me from time to time. -_- Making me tink tt I will die, den suddenly saving me n "smiling" at me, saying tt I was fooled by him. Nt lyk I dun thank him for helping me again n again la..

Even till nw my heart's hurting lyk hell -_- and my pulse lyk so weak tt I c feel my heart beating la.. Zzz. I rmb Surin said dis when she was teaching Bio -_- the heart's so special bcos it has a heartbeat, and it beats constantly until the day we die. I really wonder hw much longer I can live sia -_- (if only I gt the ability to c my lifespan -_- Or if someone lyk Ryuk could exist n tell me hw long I hav.)

-_- Dis post is becoming a bit lyk a person's last words b4 he/she dies sia -_-

But
I forbid myself to cry.
I forbid myself to give up.
I forbid myself to lose without a fight.
N I definitely forbid myself to die so young.
-_-

Hello.

Angie two three four five



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